Merry Christmas

I just wanted to tell everyone Merry Christmas and to be safe over New Years! I have off until after the first of the year so I will be hit and miss here on my blog.

I'm officially 14 weeks today! Woo Hoo for the second trimester!! Weekly update coming soon (hopefully!)

Over my vacation I do plan on cleaning out the room we are gonna use as the nursery. I hope I remember to take lots of before and after photos. We wont be buying furniture until late next month or early February since we will know the sex of them by then. At least it will be empty and ready for paint if we decide to do that.

Merry Christmas Bloggie friends!!!!

My little June Bugs @ 13 weeks

How far along? 13 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Babies are now the size of a peach!
They are forming teeth and vocal cords. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with his head now only one third the size of his body. And intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy.

Weight Gain? My scale at home say 3lbs but my clothes and belly say other wise.

Maternity Clothes? I bought some maternity pant this weekend!!! I love them. I'm not sure why I tortured myself the past week and didn't get them sooner.

Stretch marks? none.

Belly button in or out? In but I'm sure its gonna be out in no time.

Sleep? Still Really good.

Foods I am loving? Mac and cheese and Ice water. I never understood what a fellow blogger meant when she said lots of ice. But I do now! The colder the better. So refreshing

Foods I am hating? Meat by itself, even the smell grosses me out.

Best moment this week? Hearing that even though I haven't gain weight I'm ok and the babies are ok. I mean I'm getting big just not weigh wise....weird!

Movement? none that I can feel

Symptoms? Morning, Day and Night sickness, fatigue, dizziness and the dreaded constipation and to add another, daily headaches.

Genders? No clue, I've had dreams of two little boys and just the past few nights have been of two little girls.

What I miss? eating and not having to go the the bathroom so often.

What I'm looking forward to? Being in the second trimester.

Weekly Wisdom: Write down any questions you have for your OB. If not it will be forgotten by the time you get there.

Milestone: Being in the last week of the First trimester!!!!!!!

Emotions: Good. Still easily agitated but I'm not sure how much longer I can blame that on the pregnancy.

So at the OB on Friday she said I was measuring 20 WEEKS!!!! Not complaining just wondering how big I will get. Like I said earlier I have been concerned about not gaining weight. My OB said that I have such a small frame (5'5" and 110 lbs) she doesn't see me gaining over 30 lbs (even with twins). I asked her if this was safe for the babies she said as long as I'm eating they are getting what they need! HUGE sigh of relief.

While I was at Moth.erhood Mater.nity in the dressing room I decided to stick the belly on and see what I'm gonna look like. DH stepped out to get me a different size and when he came back he got this little surprise!!

Have you ever......

been so tired or so out of it that you second guess yourself on whether or not you did something. This morning after I was done taking a shower I had to think hard on whether or not I actually did all of my routines. Shampoo, conditioner, brush teeth, etc.....I honestly went through my shower on auto pilot. Where my mind was I have no clue.

I have done this while driving home from work. After about 15-20 minutes of driving I will have this OMGosh moment, did I stop at that stop sign or was that light green when I went through it. Days like this can be scary considering I drive over and hour one way to work!

On a completely different note, today I'm officially 13 weeks!! Woo Hoo last week in the first trimester. I will be glad when I start getting some energy back.

My little June Bugs @ 12 weeks

How far along? 12 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Babies are now the size of a plum! After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of their systems are fully formed.

Weight Gain? My scale at home say 3lbs but my clothes and belly says other wise.

Maternity Clothes? Just the bella band but I think I'm going this weekend for some new pants.

Stretch marks? none.

Belly button in or out? In

Sleep? Really good. I wanna go to bed at like 8:00 (pathetic I know) but I force myself to stay awake until 8:30 or 9:00.

Foods I am loving? Mac and cheese

Foods I am hating? Just meat, even the smell grosses me out.

Best moment this week? Seeing both babies yesterday at my NT scan. Baby A is a thumb sucker and extremely active. Baby B is more relaxed.

Movement? none that I can feel

Symptoms? Morning, Day and Night sickness, fatigue, dizziness and the dreaded constipation and to add another, daily headaches.

Genders? No clue, but I have been having dreams of two little boys. I really hope its one of each. Just a few more weeks and I will know.

What I miss? eating

What I'm looking forward to? Being in the second trimester.

Weekly Wisdom: Use the bathroom before you leave the house, even if you don't feel like you need to.

Milestone: Getting pregnant

Emotions: Cranky and its only with the people I work with. I use to say I wanted to return to work after having the babies, now not so much.

I am so behind on these post. My roll over is on Thursdays so I will be 13 weeks in two days. I'm sure I will get it together soon.

My little June Bugs @ 11 weeks

How far along? 11 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Babies are now the size of a lime!
Your fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through it. But fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds, and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

Weight Gain? I'm still thinking 2 lbs

Maternity Clothes? Just the bella band

Stretch marks? none.

Belly button in or out? In

Sleep? I get up to use the bathroom around 1:00 each morning and have such a hard time falling back to sleep. Other than that I wanna go to bed at like 8:00, I feel so exhausted after working 10hrs. I feel like the further along I get the sleepier I get.

Foods I am loving? I'm still not loving food but if its salty its my best friend. The smell of hot sauce...oh how I wanna eat it but I know it wont set well once I do.

Foods I am hating? Chocolate...normally I LOVE it. I have noticed that things with a tomato base isn't appealing....lasagna, enchiladas, spaghetti....even though I love these things, normally.

Best moment this week? I know this sounds terrible but it was uneventful. At my doctor appt they only drew blood and took a urine sample.

Movement? none

Symptoms? Morning, Day and Night sickness, fatigue, dizziness and the dreaded constipation.

Genders? No clue

What I miss? eating

What I'm looking forward to? Feeling movement, my baby books says maybe only 1 more month! Being in the second trimester...getting so close!

Weekly Wisdom: Even though you feel guilty about taking meds its the best thing for you.

Milestone: Getting Pregnant

Emotions: I'm starting to feel more myself. Still a little weepy at times.

MIA

I have been gone so long from here I haven't even done my 10week update and tomorrow I will be 11weeks!

Over Thanksgiving I got really sick and didn't wanna do anything. I missed 2 days of work (that never happens). I went to the doctor Monday, I needed some type of relief. The nurse who took my BP and temp asked when my last period was. I told him and then said I was 10 1/2 weeks pregnant. After the doctor came in and realized how bad I was he suggested I get a steroid shot. So just to be on the safe side I asked if it was safe for pregnant women. He had this dumbfounded look on his face then check my chart and said oh no not safe at all!! After I left his office I called my OB to make sure the prescription he prescribed was safe.

I know that when you are given meds that you typically take ALL of it until its gone. I already feel guilty about taking meds while being pregnant so I have been thinking about stopping them in a few days. The lenght is for 10 days which I think is way over kill!! What do you think?

Last visit to my RE

So today was my last appt with the RE. It wasn't sad but I think that is because I can literally see in the waiting room for my OB's office. So I will be making frequent visits.

On a different note the ultrasound today was great. Just a little info before I continue. My RE's ultrasound machine is very large and crisp when it comes to images but they don't have a doppler so you can't hear the heartbeat. The OB has a doppler but her ultrasound machine stinks! The screen in like a little laptop and its very grainy. So last Friday when I went I heard both heart beats. It was exciting but not as exciting as I thought it would be. Today completely different. On my RE's machine they were so clear and "baby" looking and.......I saw them moving around like crazy! OMGoodness it was 1,000X better than hearing the heartbeat. I cried and then wished DH would have been there. Man it was amazing.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!

My little June Bugs @ 9 weeks

How far along? 9 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Babies are now the size of a green olive!
My little embryos have now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like...well...a baby!

Weight Gain? I'm still thinking 2 lbs

Maternity Clothes? Just the bella band

Stretch marks? none.

Belly button in or out? In

Sleep? I get up to use the bathroom around 1:00 each morning and have such a hard time falling back to sleep. Other than that I wanna go to bed at like 8:00, I feel so exhausted after working 10hrs. I feel like the further along I get the sleepier I get.

Foods I am loving? I'm still not loving food but if its salty its my best friend.

Foods I am hating? Chocolate...normally I LOVE it.

Best moment this week? Being able to hear the heartbeats for the first time even though it was only like 2 secs per baby.

Movement? none

Symptoms? Morning, Day and Night sickness, fatigue, dizziness and the dreaded constipation.

Genders? No clue

What I miss? eating

What I'm looking forward to? Feeling movement, my baby books says maybe only 1 more month!

Weekly Wisdom: Take a book to the OB, she could very well be gone for over an hour delivery a baby while you sit in the exam room half naked bored stiff!

Milestone: Getting Pregnant

Emotions: Still a little weepy and snappy. I feel like I'm getting better, maybe.

My official due date is June 23rd but she said she wont let me go past 37 weeks which would be June 2nd. But she said to expect the babies at the end of May. That's only 6 months!!! Crazy. So if they really are coming at the end of May I might need to come up with new little nicknames instead of June bugs....

First OB Appt Friday

I have my first OB appt on Friday. I have a list of questions written down to ask her but I don't have as many as I would think I should have. Do you have any suggestions of really important questions I should ask?

I think next week will be my last appt with my fertility doctor. I would like to do something nice for the office. I was thinking about cards for my favorite ladies and then maybe an edible arrangement for the entire office. Did any of you do anything for your last appt with the doctor? If so any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

My little June Bugs @ 8 weeks

How far along? 8 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Baby's are now the size of a raspberry! Baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs, and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.

Weight Gain? I'm thinking 2 lbs

Maternity Clothes? Just the bella band

Stretch marks? none.

Belly button in or out? In

Sleep? I get up to use the bathroom around 1:00 each morning and have such a hard time falling back to sleep. Other than that I wanna go to bed at like 8:00, I feel so exhausted after working 10hrs.

Foods I am loving? I'm still not loving food but some days are better than others.

Foods I am hating? Chocolate...normally I LOVE it.

Best moment this week? Seeing both babies still growing on schedule.

Movement? none

Symptoms? Morning, Day and Night sickness, fatigue, dizziness.

Genders? No clue

What I miss? eating

What I'm looking forward to? Seeing the OB this Friday.

Weekly Wisdom: After you have gaged yourself brushing your tongue don't keep going back.

Milestone: Getting Pregnant

Emotions: Still weepy and snappy. Mainly with the people I work with. I didn't realize how much common sense they lacked:).

I swear my stomach isn't that big. At least not from the babies. I have been very bloated this past week...I'm not one of those girls who push their stomach out to look further along.

On a different note I turned 27 yesterday. My sister called me and asked how it felt to be a mom on my birthday. I told her I kinda don't feel like one yet. Is that weird of me to say? I mean I love them already but I don't feel like I'm a mom.

PS I look very tired in this photo. I tried to get a better one but all the others DH took came out blurry. I should inspect them before I put the camera away.

My little June Bugs @ 7 weeks

How far along? 7 Weeks!!

Baby's size? My little June bugs are the size of a Blueberry. Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about one hundred new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place

Weight Gain? My weight fluctuates so much anyway, between 3-5lbs so I'm not really sure if I have gained any.

Maternity Clothes? I bought a bella band this weekend. My pants will still button but after about 5 minutes of sitting my stomach is hurting pretty bad.

Stretch marks? none

Belly button in or out? In

Sleep? Is getting better. I sleep most of the night but right before my alarm goes off I wake up a million times.

Foods I am loving? I'm still not loving food but eating has gotten better. I had Ninfas the other day and it was WONDERFUL

Foods I am hating? Chocolate...normally I LOVE it.

Best moment this week? Seeing both babies still growing on schedule.

Movement? none

Symptoms? Morning, Day and Night sickness and fatigue.

Genders? No clue

What I miss? eating

What I'm looking forward to? Being 2 months

Weekly Wisdom: Asking for a prescription for nausea medicine doesn't make you weak.

Milestone: Getting Pregnant

Emotions: weepy...I feel like I have been chocking back tears on everything lately. Yesterday at church the opening prayer had me in tears and as soon as it was over we had to shake hands and greet people around us. The first guy probably thought I was a fruit cake! hahaha

My belly is definetly getting bigger. Even DH said something the other day. The pic I think makes it look bigger than it really is. I guess thats what you get with twins though!

My little June Bugs @ 6 weeks

How far along? 6 Weeks!!

Baby's size? My little June bugs are the size of a sweet pea.

Weight Gain? none

Stretch marks? none

Belly button in or out? In

Sleep? Really bad lately.

Foods I am loving? nothing, all food sound terrible. I feel like I have been force feeding myself.

Foods I am hating? everything

Best moment this week? Seeing two little heartbeats

Movement? none

Symptoms? Morning sickness. Although I'm not sure why it's called morning cause I have it all day everyday!

Gender? No clue

What I miss? eating

What I'm looking forward to? not feeling sick.

Weekly Wisdom: Heat makes the nausea worse

Milestone: Getting Pregnant

Emotions: weepy


Sorry I don't have pictures up, not that anything has changed. I haven't felt like doing anything this weekend.

I have been feeling a little down this past week. I am so use to doing everything around the house that when I see DH putting away the dishes or folding laundry I feel like a terrible wife. Between the nausea and the hormones i feel like a completely different person. Is this normal?

My little June Bugs @ 5 weeks

How far along? 5 Weeks!!

Baby's size? My little June bugs are the size of an apple seed.

Weight Gain? none

Stretch marks? none

Belly button in or out? In

Sleep? Really bad lately.

Foods I am loving? nothing special. My OJ was WONDERFUL this morning.

Foods I am hating? nothing new that I'm aware of.

Best moment this week? Seeing the sacs on the screen!!

Movement? none

Symptoms? None really other than the headaches almost everyday.

Gender? No clue

What I miss? Absolutely Nothing!!

What I'm looking forward to? Seeing the hearbeat next week

Weekly Wisdom: When you ask for a miracle somethimes you get TWO!!

Milestone: Getting Pregnant

Emotions: All over the place. Excited & Nervous

Surprise Surprise

Yep, that's two sacs. I go back next Thursday to see if we can see any heartbeats! I never thought I would be able to say I'm eating for two much less three!!!

DH and are are extremely excited but I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous or scared. It's not the raising part I'm worried about I'm more concerned for the health when it comes to premature deliveries.

I'm technically 5 weeks today and they are measuring 4weeks 6days so pretty much right on!

WOW!!

The nurse just called from my doctors office and my HCG is 4,502. Is anyone else thinking Twins???? We get to go in Thursday of this week for the first ultrasound. I will keep everyone posted!!! AHHHHH so exciting

Reveal and this and that....

Sunday DH and I decided to carve pumpkins. We bought a couple little ones for our little ones. Since we wont find out until later this week or next week how many there are, I can't just say one. It doesn't seem right or fair. So we have two little pumpkins and DH did such a great job carving them.

Below are a couple videos of us telling the fmaily. The first one is me telling my little sister,step mom and dad. They thought I was about to take a picture. They had no idea I was filming.

Make sure the volume is up on both videos.




The next video is of DH's mom. She also thought we were about to take a picture.

My little June Bug(s) @ 4 weeks

How far along? 4 Weeks!!

Baby's size? My little June bug(s)is the size of a poppyseed

Weight Gain? none

Stretch marks? none

Belly button in or out? In

Sleep? Really bad lately, I don't think this a pregnancy symptom. Just from the bed rest last week i haven't gotten back on schedule.

Foods I am loving? Cheese grits...this isn't anything new though.

Foods I am hating? nothing new

Best moment this week? Finding out I'm pregnant. 3 years and 3 months of trying.

Movement? none

Symptoms? My girls are tender and I get a headache almost everyday.

Gender? No clue

What I miss? Absolutely Nothing!!

What I'm looking forward to? Seeing how many are in there.

Weekly Wisdom: Some doctors obviously don't make you do the dreaded TWW.

Milestone: Getting Pregnant

Emotions: All over the place. Excited, Nervous, Worried, Weepy.....


I have pics but I can't find the converter for my memory stick. Hopefully I can get them up in the next few days.

I had another beta on Friday. It was 638. I go again tomorrow for another and as long as my numbers are good she said we might be able to get an ultrasound Thursday or Friday to see how many be have. YAY!! I'm so excited.

Words can't Describe

GOD is good. I went in this morning for normal BW to make sure my hormones are where they should be. My doctor called me about 30 minutes ago....I'M PREGNANT!! I didn't think I would ever type those words. I am completely shocked, over joyed, thankful, blessed beyond belief and ecstatic. I guess my doctor was feeling frisky this morning and decided to run a beta. When he called me back and told me I couldn't say a word. I just cried (as I am now typing it out). Thank goodness no one is in the office today. The Lord works in all kinds of ways.

I was so out of it I don't remember the number he gave me....either 88 or 188. Sorry I don't have the exact number.

When can I test?

When can I take a HPT? I don't wanna take one to early but then again I don't think I can wait until Tuesday of next week. I triggered with Lupron so does that stay in your system like Ovidrel?

I was telling DH the other day how I'm trying not to stress and look into things. One day my girls are sore the next they aren't, then they're sore again( or is that because I have been smashing and poking them all day?). One day I have cramps the next I don't....I think my nose has a little more mucus today than yesterday.I'm doing a great job not looking into things. Can you hear the sarcasm pouring off that last comment?

Hope eveyone is having a great Monday!

Update

Today I'm officially off bed rest. Everything went great on Tuesday ( I got great pics of the embroys) we transfered 2 and he said that we would be able to freeze 6 maybe 8. So if your keeping up that means we only lost one out of the 11 we fertilized!!!!! Thanks for the advice and well wishes!!


Sorry for such a short post. I'm on my phone.

I boldly confess......

today is my last day as a non pregnant woman! I have faith this time will be it. Tomorrow morning I go in for our transfer, we will be putting back 2 embabies.

On Thursday of last week they were able to retrieve 15 eggs. Out of those 15, 12 were mature and they were able to fertilize 11.

I will find out today what time my transfer is tomorrow and how many made it over the weekend. Hopefully we will have some we will be able to freeze.

I start bed rest tomorrow. Any suggestions. What did and didn't you do? I can have one shower in the three days and I'm allowed to get up brush my teeth and wash my face each morning. If you were allowed a shower, did you take it? Did you keep yourself on bedrest longer? How did you keep yourselves occupied? I don't have internet at my house...

Thanks in advance for all of your support and suggestions.

I'm such a baby!!!

There are so many women out there who have been giving themselves injections. I can't do it. I have a mental block or something. So yesterday when they decided to switch things up on me and give me a different trigger shot, I had to get one at 8:30 pm and one this morning at 8:30am. Normally my husband gives them to me. At 8:30 this morning DH was at work. I had to make an appt with the nurse at my RE's office so they could give it to me. I'm so pathetic!

On a more positive note...I'm so excited about tomorrow!!

Oh and thanks Kristi for the hyper stimulation advice. That's why they switched my trigger. Since my estrogen is over 4000 I would have more than likely hyper stimulated. This new shot will keep me from doing that. But I will still try the drinks and foods you suggested.

I will try and update this weekend on how may they are able to fertilize!

Cycle update

I went in this morning and everything looks great. I have 12-13 follicles on each ovary. I'm waiting to hear back form the doctor on whether or not I will trigger tonight. I hope so.... If we do that puts ER on Thursday and 5DT on Tuesday.

AHHHHHH I can't believe its here and this is really happening!!!

My entire family keeps telling me this is it. Could this really be it??




UPDATE: Just spoke with the doctor. We are triggering tonight and in the morning with Lupron. I updated my side bar....

It's offical....

We finally started meds last night. Friday the doctor called and said that my TSH levels went from a 7 to a 4.1. Woo Hoo. I had my baseline BW and US yesterday. Everything looked great.

If everything stays on track we will have our beta Oct. 22 Which is just a few days before DH's birthday! Wouldn't that be a great birthday present?!?!?

Now for a funny story about last night. For some reason I get nervous about the injections. I have only had the Ovidril injections right before the IUI's so this is definitely different. As soon as DH walked in the door I bombarded him and said OK lets do the injection now. I didn't want to be anticipating it all night. Well this threw him off, he already gets nervous about them. Only cause he doesn't want to hurt me. So after I was done mixing everything, I put the needle on and took the cap off. I jumped up on the counter and was waiting. I had him so worked up he dropped the syringe on the floor. Before it hit, he was fumbling around with it trying to keep it from hitting the floor. Surprisingly he didn't get stuck anywhere. We didn't lose any of the meds in the process so we just switched out the needle. I felt bad for him. I know he hates doing it but that's the only way it will get done. I CAN NOT give them to myself.

The poke itself didn't hurt, the meds going in did a teeny tiny bit. But afterwards it felt like I had been stung by a bee. I had the urge to scratch or slap it. Today my tummy is sore to the touch. Now I know why they told me to switch sides each night.

If you have gone through any injectables were you able to give them to yourself?

Now for a quick side note. Yesterday my sister had her baby! Bristol Leighann 6lbs 1oz 18" long. She is so sweet.

Such a roller coaster....

The past few days have been so crazy! Sorry for such a long post!

First off my hubs loves his Gan.der Moun.tain Credit Card. He gets points every time we use it and then they send him a gift card for the store after we have accumulated so many points. So you can imagine how excited he was that I have been putting all our medicals bill on the card. Well two weeks ago when I went in for our teaching session and for them to test my Thyroid I paid a certain amount on the card and then planned on paying the rest today. I made sure I paid the bill Monday so we would have a zero balance for today. I even checked it yesterday online to make sure the payment posted, it had. So this morning when I tried to pay, DECLINED!!!! Twice. How embarrassing! I called and of course you can't get a human to save your life, I even tried the "cancel your card" option thinking that would definitely get me a person. Nope.

After I got back to work I tried calling again. I don't remember the actual option I pressed but luckily I got a human. So after all the calling and waiting she told me I'm not the account holder (DH is) and she can't tell me anything. Its privacy laws. So I said, let me get this right, I can spends thousands of dollars and pay the bill but you can't tell me why its declining with a zero balance???? Her reply was: we are open until nine if you would like your husband to call then. AHHHHHHHH

Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from my insurance company. Anytime I go to the doctor and use insurance it will send me a letter showing how much my copay was and if I owe anything to the doctor. Well as you all know I had the hysteroscopy two weeks ago. So the letter I got yesterday was showing the details from that. I had to meet a 350.00 deductible and other than that I was told I shouldn't have to pay anything else, since I had insurance.

The letter yesterday said after my 350.00 deductible they (my craptacular insurance) only paid 347.00 of the 6,067.00 charge! So you (me) owe the surgery center 5,719.00 WHAT?!?!?! Start of mini heart attach and mental break down!!!

This morning when I went to the doctor I asked about it, so she gave me their billing centers number. I called and explained the letter I got. She chuckled and said let me guess, it says you owe thousand of dollars. Me: yes, 5,719.00 to be exact. Her: Just disregard the bill all you owe was the 350.00. Your insurance sent that because our surgery center is considered out of network. Me: chocking back tears said thank you and hung up. I literally cried afterwards! I was so relieved

PS- we didn't close yesterday on the refi. LONG story but it was becuase of .40 cents! Yep you read that right! Everything is situated so hopfully at 5:00pm today we will close.

Refinance

We have been trying to get our house refinanced for the past 2 1/2 months. Everything under the sun seems to have gone wrong. Our appraisal came back to low for us to keep paying our taxes and insurance ourselves (I hate Escrowing) So in order to not have to we have to come to the table with money. I didn't really want to, especially cause it is taking from our saving that we have set aside for IVF. Today we are supposed to be closing but they have been telling us that for a week now. If we don't close by today our rate will expire. I keep telling myself that GOD will take care of us and we will be able to refi at 4.5% (isn't that an awesome rate????) get pregnant our first IVF, have great eggs to freeze and have money set aside for the next frozen transfer (siblings of course). Sounds like a lot but my GOD is awesome and I know it can happen.

Tomorrow I go in for them to check my Thyroid again. Dr. G has been putting off us starting the meds because my levels are to high. If tomorrows levels come back good we will be given the green light to officially start the meds. The only bad thing is, if they don't get the results back until Friday then I have to wait until Monday for the baseline and to start meds. Also if the results come back high he will adjust the dose, make me take it for another 2 weeks before he will test me again. If this happens I think I might go crazy. The anticipation is killing me. I had it in my head already that we would have a late June baby. Our 6th anniversary is June 25th.

I shouldn't put myself through all the different scenarios of how far I will be at certain time of the year. I know that when I do get pregnant and have him/her the timing will be just right and all this waiting will have been worth it..... so much easier said than done, if only I could follow my own advice ;)

Hope every one's week is going good.

Got the IVF Schedule

We went in on Thursday for our teaching visit. They gave us all the info to mix the meds and how and when to administer them. They also took my blood again to check my Thyroid to make sure it was looking better after starting me on the meds. He called me back Friday and said that it was still high for me to double my "baby dose" and check it again in two weeks. So instead of today being my last day of BCP and starting the stims Friday I will have to stay on the BCP until they check my Thyroid next Thursday. :( I wish I could just have one problem free cycle....Is there such a thing?

So, if things go good next week I'm hoping to start stims Friday night 9/17/2010. Egg retrieval 9/29/2010 and have a 5 day transfer. Which would put the beta around 10/18/10. Man that is an eternity away! All of these dates are hypothetical and could change through out the cycle.

I will be taking 150 Bravelle and 150 Menopur in case you were wondering.

Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend.

Thank for the well wishes

The hysteroscopy went well. He did find something and took a biopsy. He should have the results later this week or next week. He didn't seem concerned and if it is anything it can be treated with antibiotics. So right now I'm not too concerned (or should I be???). I'm a little crampy today but nothing bad. I haven't taken any of the pain meds he prescribed. TMI alert- Can't wear tampons, have inter.course for 2 weeks or take hot baths. That's not a problem, I only take showers and nothing against pads, they just aren't for me. So right now I feel like I'm suffering.

I have never been put to sleep in my life and it was definitely an experience. I'm glad that everything went well and I didn't have any bad side effects....sore throat or vomiting afterwards. The only thing is, I was rambling about the stupidest things before I went out, i.e. BP oil spill, not drinking alcohol in 3 years....I could tell I was making a fool of myself so I finally just stopped talking mid sentence. LOL

After I came too in recovery, my doctor gave me some photos from the procedure and said here you can post these on facebook. DH said I said all loud "I don't have that crap!" There goes my nice quiet girl image!!! Nothing against people who have myspace or facebook cause I used to have one.

Don't know if I told ya'll or not but he tested my Thyroid and he thinks I'm borderline so he started me on a "baby dose" of synthroid (sp). He said that after the pregnancy if I want, I can stop taking it as long as I get tested every year.

UPDATE: Just got off the phone with my doctor. He said that what he biopsied was more than likely inflammation from the BCP I'm on. But just to make sure he sent it off and will have the results next week.

Hysteroscopy is Wednesday

I have the hysteroscopy Wednesday. If that could just come and go I think I will be alright. I have been pretty good about not worrying but now that it's getting closer I find my self getting worked up over it.

I hate how I completely freak out over the smallest thing, then once it's over I'm like that was nothing. I pray I will be able to say the same for this.

Once we have the Hysteroscopy we will set up a teaching session for IVF. After that it isn't long and I will be done with the BCP.

How do the stims work? Do you start them on or around CD3 like you would clomid? Or after AF is over?

DH and I came to a decision...

Friday was CD1 him and i had been discussing what we wanted to do about another IUI or start IVF. I couldn't come to peace about either of them. So Friday when i was showering i came up with what i felt good about. If i had more cyst and had to start BCP then we would move forward with IVF. If not then we would have our last IUI.

Surprise Surprise two large cyst on my right ovary. I feel good about moving forward with IVF vs IUI. The only thing I'm nervous about is the hysteroscopy (sp). I have never been put to sleep in my life. All I can think about is that tube going down my throat!!!!

Hysteroscopy is where they insert a camera into the cervix to check everything out and make sure that there wont be any problems with the eggs implanting. They could do a saline US where they insert a catheter with a small balloon on the end. My RE said he would rather do the other cause it is more detailed, plus if they were to find anything they can remove it right there.

I know that most people in my shoes would have taken the FREE IUI but I chalk it up to intuition. I have never had a good feeling about IUI's. So moving forward makes me so happy. Especially to think that on Fathers day next year we could either have a little one or have a big belly.

I Love my RE.....

I just got off the phone with my RE. I was asking him what the odds of us getting PG this last IUI since we have already had 2 failed ones. I told him that I didn't wanna waste the time and money if he thought my chances were very low. He said that either one, IVF or IUI isn't out of the ordinary at this point. He did say.........he would do another IUI for FREE!!!!! if that was the route we wanted to take, minus meds of course. If we decide to do this (almost positive we are just need to get DH opinion) and it doesn't work then we will definitely move forward with IVF.

Just wanted to share the good news.

Have a great weekend.

Infertility Sucks

I go tomorrow morning for the beta, even though I know it's a waste of time. I tested Sunday morning and it was a BFN.

Sunday morning in church was terrible. The message however was great and really hit home. He preached on giving your burdens to God. DH and I were both in tears. Even though it was sad I felt a little better after I left. We know we need to give it to him.

My next dilemma is weather or not I wanna go to IVF or another IUI. DH and I said we would only do a max of 3 IUI's. I feel like, well the first two didn't work why would the last one. So why waste that 1,500.00 and another month. I am really torn on what to do. I wanna make the right decision but have no clue which way to go.

I told DH to help me pray about it and hopefully we will both come up with the same answer. He doesn't care which way we go but I think he might be a little nervous about all the procedures of IVF, so maybe right now he is leaning more to IUI.

Any suggestions would be apperciated.

Please pray for Sarah

Please stop by Sarah's page http://ellasmom505.blogspot.com/ She might have her twins this week, at only 25 weeks. She definitely needs our prayers.

Thoughtful Thursday

Romans 4:19-21 Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead-since he was about a hundred years old-and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

Abraham looked squarely at the facts yet did not waiver in his view of the future. So many times we either do not face the reality of the situation we are in and go into a blind optimism, or we get so caught up in our current situation that we become a pessimist. But God has the power to deliver us and Abraham stands as a witness on how to believe God in the midst of our life situations.

Dave Whitehead, Senior Pastor, GraceNYC.org

work, wait, work and wait some more

Don't you wish that there was some internal alarm that sounded off when you were pregnant. No having to worry about the TWW, chemical pregnancies or MC. It would just be.

We could go on and quit driving ourselves crazy with every "symptom" in the book. Act like normal sane people and plan for the future.....ahh life would be much easier. Instead we are forced to calculate every move we make and watch everything that goes in our mouth because we "might" be pregnant.

I have been praying lately for us to be blessed with a pregnancy or for Him to take the desire away from us. Adoption is something that is in the back of our minds right now but I don't pray specifically that way yet. We will cross that bridge when we get there.

TWW

Today officially starts my TWW. This morning for our 2nd IUI things went good. DH had 26 million swimmers post wash. She said those were still excellent numbers! Woo Hoo

Have you ever sat down and thought about the entire process that we go through just to become pregnant and what a miracle it all is? I have and man GOD is great.

IUI #1 down, one to go

This morning went great. DH had 119 million total and 35.5 million grade A swimmers post wash. The Nurse said those were the best numbers she has seen. WOO HOO go hubby!! He asked the nurse if he at least got a sucker on his way out. She just laughed and said nope. It's good to have someone like him with something so silly to ease the mood. We laughed about other things and had a good time.

Up next...the TWW. Maybe with planning my sisters BABY SHOWER, time will go by quickly.

Back from the RE

Friday I went to the RE. I have 3 follies on the right and none on the left. They were measuring between 12 and 14. This morning when I left, 2 were measuring 18 and the other one 14. I am waiting on my BW work to come back to see if I will trigger tonight or tomorrow. Then back to back IUI's.

I also had my first acupuncture appt Friday. I think I'm the type of person who thinks into things way to much. I was a tiny bit nervous when I showed up. He started out with a few in my feet and legs then worked up to my stomach. He placed one in between my eyes and a few in my head and some in my arms. By this point I was ok with them. None had really hurt and most of them I didn't feel. Then came two in both of my ears, they stung pretty bad but not unbearable. After he told me night night and left the room the one in the top of my left ear started hurting. Like a small throbbing pain. So then of course I couldn't relax at all. I was concentrating on the pain the entire time. After he came back he asked how I felt, I explained to him about my ear, he said that was a point for my uterus. So not a 100% sure what he meant about that. Then once he took one of the needles out of my stomach it bruised pretty bad and was extremely sore the next 2 days. He said something about me eating sugar and having lots of heat.

Today I went back for another appt. This time he placed a few in my legs and arms, and around 20 in my back. After that he hooked me up to the machine that sends electrical impulses. It didn't hurt but it wasn't relaxing at all. After the 30 minutes he took them out and made me lay on my back. He then proceeded to stick the longest needle EVER in my stomach. OMGoodness it was sooooo painful. It felt like he was twisting and turning it. I told him that it hurt pretty bad and he said it was because he was touching my uterus. WHAT?!?!?

I know a bunch of people have told me they loved it but I'm still waiting for the jury to come back. I don't know if this is normal or what but if so I don't think I wanna go back. Have any of you experienced what I described or should I find another doctor to go to?

Acupuncture....

So tomorrow morning at 9 I have a regular doctors appt to see how many follies I have and how big they are. Then at 3:00pm I go to my first acupuncture session. I'm a little nervous and excited at the same time. Mrs. Hammer at http://maybeitsallinmyhead.blogspot.com/ gave me some info on it (Thanks!!). I'm a little less nervous now but I did read on another blog how it hurt and nothing about it helped her relax, if anything it stressed her out seeing all the needles. I really do need to stop searching the Internet for things until after I have it done.

Before I went in to have the HSG test my doctor told me not to read about it on the Internet. Just that comment alone freaked me out a little. I took his advice (it took everything in me not to google it). I'm sooooooo glad I did. The Internet made it sound horrible. My experience was nothing more than a routine pap smear. Nothing about it was painful.

Oh and one more thing, just to show how GOD has a sense of humor. My girlfriend who is pregnant found out she was having a little boy a couple months ago. She went back to the OB Monday and they told her she's having a GIRL.

AC @ work is out.....

So this morning when I showed up for work our ac was out. After three long hours we finally got it running. It isn't fixed completely but for now it's working. I just hope one of those wonderful hot flashes doesn't creep up on me. Last cycle I took Clomid this time I'm taking Femara and the hot flashes are worse. It may sound like complaints but I'm up for anything if it leads to a BFP!!

Much needed vacation....

DH and I had a much needed vacation. We drove to Colorado and stayed for the week. The weather is AWESOME! especially compared to Texas heat. It was our first time going there and we loved it. We are already talking about when we will be able to go back.

So yesterday I went back to the doctor. CD1 BW and U/S. During the U/S she saw the same stupid cyst that was there from 3 weeks ago, even after being on the BC for so long. She said more than likely he would put me on a different BC for another two weeks and see how I respond to that. She said she would call me and let me know how the labs turned out. Well great news my estrogen was extremely low so the cyst isn't active and we can start the medicine on Friday. Woo Hoo! I'm not talking cloimd this round since I didn't do well on it last time. So we will see.

Is it just me.....

While I was waiting yesterday for my BW and u/s I noticed a couple together. They went in and came out before I was called back. Once they returned back to the waiting room they were holding pictures from their ultrasound. I understand they are excited about their miracle but what about the feelings of the others in the waiting room who are still waiting on theirs. This has happen to me the last 3 times I have been to the doctor. Has it happened to any of you and if so what were your feelings?

So the results from yesterday are, I have a large cyst on one of my ovaries and my estrogen is way to high. Last night I started BCP and will go back in 3 weeks for u/s and BW.

BFN.....

DH has been out of town and I should have gone in Monday for a PT. I opted to wait until he got home so we could find out together. I took a HPT first thing this morning. Negative. I got my hopes up because technically I was/am 19dpiui and AF still hasn't arrived. Since I am so late I just assumed it must have happened. Even though I have had zero symptoms. I know everything will happen in GOD's perfect timing but I can't help but wanna know when that is.

Thursday night I triggered. Friday and Saturday I had back to back IUI's with 116 million mobile sperm on Friday and only 12 million on Saturday. This is our first time and I'm already antsy. I figured this part would be easy. I don't understand how most girls do 4 and 5 round of this. I only pray that we are blessed enough for this first time to take. I know my odds are very low but anything can happen. Does anyone have any advice on the waiting process?

Finally Our First Cycle

After visiting the specialist in December it feels like forever and now we finally get to start. I went to Dr. G Monday for BW and U/S. Everything came back good which is such a relief since it feels like every other time I have went I have had cyst. I started 100mg of Clomid Tuesday afternoon. Does anyone else taking this medication hate the side effects. I get hot flashes and weird double vision in the morning. I have another appt. next Monday to see how many mature follicles I have and then hopefully schedule the IUI. I feel so blessed to be able to even have this procedure done. There are many couples who are plagued with infertility that can't afford to get help.

The Journey begins...

We finally told Family and friends what we were about to embark on so they could encourage and help pray for us. This was harder than I thought. I watched Mark tell his mom and then his dad and he did it with such ease i knew i would be able to tell mine. The first person i told was my older sister (who already has 2 kids). As soon as I got out of my mouth that we met with a fertility specialist I broke down and started crying. Which in return made her think the worst and she started crying. Once I pulled myself together I told her that we didn't know anything yet we still had to do testing but that hopefully we would know something soon. After we left her house we went to have dinner with my dad. I knew if i was that way with my sister i would definitely be that way with my dad, this time we were gonna be in public so i made Mark tell them. He is such a wonderful husband. Everything went well and my step mom, who is a prayer warrior, promised to pray for us daily.



December we started the testing process, which consisted of tons of blood work and lots of ultrasounds to check me during different stages of my cycle. They also checked Marks semen. The same day we found out Mark was fine they found cyst on my ovaries. It was a difficult day to say the least. I was happy everything was fine with Mark (I know he was too) but at the same time I thought that meant I was the problem and I was the one keeping us from having children. It was really hard the first couple days after finding out. After I got over the disappointment I went back to what Dr. G said when we first met him, MOST things are treatable.

After tons of ultrasounds and one HSG test(they insert dye into the fallopian tubes to make sure they aren't blocked), they came to the conclusion that we fall into the very frustrating category of unexplained infertility. So we will start of with the lowest form of treatment which consist of Clomid and an IUI. If nothing happens with that after 3-4 rounds we will skip ahead and go straight for IVF. They have another option which consist of injections that could make you release up to 6 eggs. He said we could have "selective reduction" which is basically an abortion. So considering neither one of us could ever get rid of any and don't want to be on the news for multiple births we will be skipping that process all together.

He told us to call the following month with my monthly cycle. I didn't realize I needed to call on Day 1 so I ended up calling on the very last day. My doctor informed me I should have called on day 1 because I needed to start the Clomid on day 5. So we completely wasted that month in my mind. No ones fault but my own. That month we tried again at home knowing that anything is possible. When I was 1 day late I let my excitement get the best of me. I took a Home Pregnancy test, which came back negative. After 2 weeks of being late I took another one. Still negative. I called my doctor and he asked me to come in the following Monday.

Monday he did an ultrasound and drew blood, it came back that I had a very active cyst. That's what was making me late. A few days later cycle day 1 came. I went back to the doctor for more blood work and another ultrasound. The blood test came back showed it was still active and if we started Clomid the cyst would absorb all the medicine and we would be wasting our time and money. So of all things he put me on birth control. After 2 weeks of being on the b/c i went back to the doctor. the cyst had shrunk and it was time to start our first treatment cycle. I started Clomid that Friday, completely excited that after 4 months we were finally starting something.

I took the Clomid for 5 days religiously. I experienced hot flashes and mood swings. I think all the mood swings are coming from me being chemically intoxicated. B/C for 2 weeks and then Clomid right after that. Last Friday I went to the doctor to see how things were progressing. Him and I were joking about the hot flashes I had been experiencing while he was doing the ultrasound. He then got this very surprised look on his face and asked if I had taken 2 pills a day. I said 2 pills twice a day. He let me know that I was given the wrong dose and actually took double of what was prescribed to me. So I now have 6 mature follicles which if we continued with the IUI tomorrow I could possibly have 6 babies. It was an honest mistake and my doctors are crediting all the money I have spent so far this cycle to next months cycle.

So that's where we are right now. Waiting. I relate so well to the song by John Waller "While I'm Waiting". I know that with patience and faith we will one day have our very own little miracle. In the mean time I hope to worship and praise God for all of his other blessings.

I hope this blog is a way for me to experience everyone else trials along with the triumphs. Get encouraged and maybe encourage some one going through the same thing.

Some History

Mark and I were married June 25 2005. We both knew we wanted children from the get go. We even had a boy name picked put before we were engaged. We (I) wanted everything to be just right and settled before we had our first child together. After we bought our home and got settled we started trying for a baby. This was July 2007.

I have always know in my heart that we were gonna be parents so after we had been trying for a few months I didn't think anything about it. I had read that a young healthy couple could take up to 18 months to get pregnant. Time started to zoom past, with each passing month Mark got more and more let down. Somehow the whole time I was positive and upbeat trying to reassure him each month when my cycle came that it would happen for us. This whole time we had kept us even trying a secret. We wanted to surprise our family. FYI- bad idea if you are having issues getting pregnant, they will ask constantly "when are y'all having kids?" "what are you waiting for?" It takes a toll once you have been trying for a few years like us.

Mark had been wanting to see a specialist for a while but for some reason I kept putting it off. I'm not sure if it was because I was afraid that the problem was me and how he might react to knowing I was the problem. Or if it's honestly because I know we will be parents and it will happen in Gods perfect timing.

November 2009 it really started weighing on me, I was being selfish and not considering Mark in all this. Just because I was comfortable (or I thought I was) with waiting doesn't mean he is and in the end I want us to both be happy. So December 2009 I made an apt with Dr. G. to find out where to go from here. After I told Mark we had an apt the following Friday his attitude completely changed. He was elated (for lack of better word)!!! Once we met Dr. G he told us that there are multiple treatment options we could consider (depending on our particular problem) and the success rate of each. I was so excited that we could possibly have our own bundle of joy by the end of the year (2010).