The Journey begins...

We finally told Family and friends what we were about to embark on so they could encourage and help pray for us. This was harder than I thought. I watched Mark tell his mom and then his dad and he did it with such ease i knew i would be able to tell mine. The first person i told was my older sister (who already has 2 kids). As soon as I got out of my mouth that we met with a fertility specialist I broke down and started crying. Which in return made her think the worst and she started crying. Once I pulled myself together I told her that we didn't know anything yet we still had to do testing but that hopefully we would know something soon. After we left her house we went to have dinner with my dad. I knew if i was that way with my sister i would definitely be that way with my dad, this time we were gonna be in public so i made Mark tell them. He is such a wonderful husband. Everything went well and my step mom, who is a prayer warrior, promised to pray for us daily.



December we started the testing process, which consisted of tons of blood work and lots of ultrasounds to check me during different stages of my cycle. They also checked Marks semen. The same day we found out Mark was fine they found cyst on my ovaries. It was a difficult day to say the least. I was happy everything was fine with Mark (I know he was too) but at the same time I thought that meant I was the problem and I was the one keeping us from having children. It was really hard the first couple days after finding out. After I got over the disappointment I went back to what Dr. G said when we first met him, MOST things are treatable.

After tons of ultrasounds and one HSG test(they insert dye into the fallopian tubes to make sure they aren't blocked), they came to the conclusion that we fall into the very frustrating category of unexplained infertility. So we will start of with the lowest form of treatment which consist of Clomid and an IUI. If nothing happens with that after 3-4 rounds we will skip ahead and go straight for IVF. They have another option which consist of injections that could make you release up to 6 eggs. He said we could have "selective reduction" which is basically an abortion. So considering neither one of us could ever get rid of any and don't want to be on the news for multiple births we will be skipping that process all together.

He told us to call the following month with my monthly cycle. I didn't realize I needed to call on Day 1 so I ended up calling on the very last day. My doctor informed me I should have called on day 1 because I needed to start the Clomid on day 5. So we completely wasted that month in my mind. No ones fault but my own. That month we tried again at home knowing that anything is possible. When I was 1 day late I let my excitement get the best of me. I took a Home Pregnancy test, which came back negative. After 2 weeks of being late I took another one. Still negative. I called my doctor and he asked me to come in the following Monday.

Monday he did an ultrasound and drew blood, it came back that I had a very active cyst. That's what was making me late. A few days later cycle day 1 came. I went back to the doctor for more blood work and another ultrasound. The blood test came back showed it was still active and if we started Clomid the cyst would absorb all the medicine and we would be wasting our time and money. So of all things he put me on birth control. After 2 weeks of being on the b/c i went back to the doctor. the cyst had shrunk and it was time to start our first treatment cycle. I started Clomid that Friday, completely excited that after 4 months we were finally starting something.

I took the Clomid for 5 days religiously. I experienced hot flashes and mood swings. I think all the mood swings are coming from me being chemically intoxicated. B/C for 2 weeks and then Clomid right after that. Last Friday I went to the doctor to see how things were progressing. Him and I were joking about the hot flashes I had been experiencing while he was doing the ultrasound. He then got this very surprised look on his face and asked if I had taken 2 pills a day. I said 2 pills twice a day. He let me know that I was given the wrong dose and actually took double of what was prescribed to me. So I now have 6 mature follicles which if we continued with the IUI tomorrow I could possibly have 6 babies. It was an honest mistake and my doctors are crediting all the money I have spent so far this cycle to next months cycle.

So that's where we are right now. Waiting. I relate so well to the song by John Waller "While I'm Waiting". I know that with patience and faith we will one day have our very own little miracle. In the mean time I hope to worship and praise God for all of his other blessings.

I hope this blog is a way for me to experience everyone else trials along with the triumphs. Get encouraged and maybe encourage some one going through the same thing.

Some History

Mark and I were married June 25 2005. We both knew we wanted children from the get go. We even had a boy name picked put before we were engaged. We (I) wanted everything to be just right and settled before we had our first child together. After we bought our home and got settled we started trying for a baby. This was July 2007.

I have always know in my heart that we were gonna be parents so after we had been trying for a few months I didn't think anything about it. I had read that a young healthy couple could take up to 18 months to get pregnant. Time started to zoom past, with each passing month Mark got more and more let down. Somehow the whole time I was positive and upbeat trying to reassure him each month when my cycle came that it would happen for us. This whole time we had kept us even trying a secret. We wanted to surprise our family. FYI- bad idea if you are having issues getting pregnant, they will ask constantly "when are y'all having kids?" "what are you waiting for?" It takes a toll once you have been trying for a few years like us.

Mark had been wanting to see a specialist for a while but for some reason I kept putting it off. I'm not sure if it was because I was afraid that the problem was me and how he might react to knowing I was the problem. Or if it's honestly because I know we will be parents and it will happen in Gods perfect timing.

November 2009 it really started weighing on me, I was being selfish and not considering Mark in all this. Just because I was comfortable (or I thought I was) with waiting doesn't mean he is and in the end I want us to both be happy. So December 2009 I made an apt with Dr. G. to find out where to go from here. After I told Mark we had an apt the following Friday his attitude completely changed. He was elated (for lack of better word)!!! Once we met Dr. G he told us that there are multiple treatment options we could consider (depending on our particular problem) and the success rate of each. I was so excited that we could possibly have our own bundle of joy by the end of the year (2010).