About Me
- Amber
- Welcome to my blog! Me and DH are 27. We met at the end of our senior year in High School and married three years later on June 25 2005. We have been TTC for over 3 years. Now we are expecting twins in June. I hope to encourage and be encouraged through our journey.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Confession
We have about two weeks left before we find out the sex. I have this feeling that both are little girls. Completely fine, Honestly!! But I can't help but have this sinking feeling about a little boy. DH and I have had a boy name since before we were married, a little over 7yrs. So when I think about not being able to use this name I get sad. We haven't ruled out more children but we have always talked about only having two. So IF we have no more and these two are little girls it makes me sad to think we will never have "him". I think I just feel like since we have been saying this name for so long he already feels like a part of us. Am I going crazy? Like I said in the beginning, don't take it wrong like I don't want two little girls if that's what we have cause I would be ecstatic! The weird part is I don't feel like I need a boy its just the name.....ok its official I'm crazy!
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It's not crazy, I totally get it. Here's my piece of crazy:
ReplyDeleteI have ALWAYS known I would be a mom of boys, maybe even all boys. I just knew I would have boys, but I have never had a feeling that I would have a girl. And I really WANT a girl just for the adult mother-daughter relationship that just isn't the same with a mother and son once they're adults. I don't want a girl so I can "dress her up" or anything. I just want an adult daughter one day. And not just a daughter in law.
So when I was pregnant with Noah I wanted the baby to be a girl, just so I could "get the girl out of the way" and then I could have as many boys as I could get. I just wanted to know I'd have ONE daughter because I KNEW I'd have sons. KWIM?
Even so, I had a feeling Noah was a boy. I just knew he was (mostly because I KNEW I'd have boys), even though almost everyone thought he was a girl.
When it was confirmed that he was a boy, I am ashamed to admit that there was a little part of me that was kind of disappointed.
As a couple of weeks went on I was no longer disappointed and I didn't want a girl in my belly, I wanted HIM in my belly and I wouldn't have traded him for a girl (even though he was still in my belly).
And ever since then I have been THRILLED he was a boy. But I do admit that around 20 weeks pregnant I was mildly sad that he wasn't a girl, simply because I'm not sure I'll ever have a girl and I really want that adult relationship with a daughter.
So there's my "crazy." Don't feel crazy.
Thanks!!! Makes me feel so much better.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear what you're having!!! I think however it turns out, it will be perfect for you guys!
ReplyDeleteYour def not crazy....We had a girl name that we both like and of course we are having a boy and we each like a different name....but in the end it will all work out as both of us do like the others name...and honestly I always seen myself having a girl because Im such a girlie girl and my husband always seen us having a girl but we are now way attached to our little boy and couldnt imagine things any other way
ReplyDeleteYou definitely aren't crazy. We had a girl name picked out and all through the IVF process we said that name. So when we found out it was a boy (that we had no name for) I felt sad and ashamed that I felt sad and like a horrible mother because I had no name for my son! But within a short time frame I promise I felt so much better. And when Brayden came I instantly couldn't have imagined my life any differently. Do I still love my girl name? Absolutely! And would I still love a daugher? Of course...not gonna lie. :) My mom and I have a great relationship and I hope to have that some day with my dauther. But our lives are all about Brayden right now and it's perfect. I think it's the unknown that's scary, but once you know it gets so much easier to bond with the baby(ies).
ReplyDeleteAnd the c-section book I read (parts of) is called The Essential Guide to a C-section. http://www.amazon.com/Essential-C-Section-Guide-Everything-Cesarean/dp/0767916077 I didn't get time beforehand to read through it all, but I got through the important chapters concerning the actual c-section. I liked knowing everything that was going to happen. But the book does warn you what chapter you might not want to read if you aren't in to all of that. I didn't think it was scary especially since it warns you ahead of time what chapter goes into all the details. I would recommend it since it also deals with the emotional side of it all and the recovery and what to expect afterwards, etc.